Easier

It's getting a little easier. Day by day.  Just a little easier to deal with.  Some days I can see myself going completely backwards and the process starts alk over again.  But its good to say that most days, I'm getting the hang of things.  I'm getting more done.  I'm finally calming down more during the days when things don't go as planned. It's getting a little bit easier.

Three kids, ages 3 and under, is the hardest thing I have ever done in MY LIFE.

I have to tell myself that I don't care about a lot of things anymore. When I'm feeding Jonathan and the girls are making a huge mess that I can't go stop then from doing.  Or I'm taking a quick 5 minute shower and Jonathan wakes up 2 minutes into it. Or Sophie is climbing into the piano to give a speech, or Sydney colors with her crayons, tears all the paper off them and leaves it on the floor,  piece by piece.  I have had to teach myself that it doesn't matter and to not get upset.  Its not worth getting mad about things I can't stop right away because I'm busy with one of the other kids. Of course I care about many things,  but these small annoyances, I havee had to let go. I can't always have a clean house.  Some days,  its just going to smell like pee in one room or another. And febreeze ain't going to cover it up. Some days the girls are going to just fight and fight and fight and all I can do is time out after time out after time out. They, not catching on that time out is supposed to teach them to STOP!
But then there are some days that Jonathan takes loong naps. Some days that I can actually get the dishes all done in one day.  Some nights I actually feel rested after.  Some days that I actually cook... something. Some days that I have time to just sit with me girls and read them stories. Those days are far and few between at the moment, but its getting easier.

It's getting easier.

Baby steps.